"you're never too old to become younger"- mae west
So i have been having this internal struggle with staying home, work, getting up early, drinking, not drinking, cleaning my room, not cleaning my room, kiss this boy, dont kiss that boy. I have taken on another day at work. mostly because i feel like well, i might as well.going out sometime isnt as fun anymore, but then i end up feeling like i live at work and before i know it im home and its already ten oclock by the time i eat dinner settle down and its almost time to go back to work. i love my job and i justify working so hard because i can hear my mom saying "shes young" i always think about that... how everyone who is older says "youre still young" . sometimes you just want to be content to relax and i just cant. and its going on and on and on and you feel like you dont have a second to just be and cant decide whether it feels good or if you feel like a machine. the other day my client asked me how old i was and i said 22 no im 23 no im 24 and for a second i couldnt remember my age. before you know it maybe youre just old. i just get so anxious when i feel like i have started some routine. i cant stick to routines. i made this mix cd the other night. it puts me in a good mood on the way to work. some of the songs are ones i loved when i was 16..some i just heard this year. when i was like 16 kacie played the red house painters katys song. i want to cover this song real bad, but i can only sing it so im trying to convince my roommate to learn the rest. here it is... enjoy
xo sara
1.oh how i miss you-broadcast
2.dizzy dizzy-can
3.some velvet morning-lydia lunch
4.honey power-my bloody valentine
5.don't talk (put your head on my shoulder)-beach boys
6.candy-morphine
7.six different ways-the cure
8.can't seem to make you mine-the seeds
9.i love,you love, me love-gary glitter
10.breaking glass-david bowie
11.no one receiving-brian eno
12.wild wild life-talking heads
13.headline hustler-10cc
14.katys song-red house painters
15. running up that hill-chromatics
16.night time intermission-charlotte gainsbourg
17.what is life-george harrison
18.tripoli-pinback
19.la la love you-pixies
The other day I couldn't remember my age either!! 24 just doesn't stick... I never thought about being 24... I guess it was always meant to be a lost year.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about it all. At least you're doing something you know you enjoy.. or that you went to school for and have worked hard to rise up.
I think it's going to not go out. I've been calling myself an old lady for months now because I just don't even really like it anymore. Every once and a while I like to get really drunk and maybe play some board games but besides that... I just can't hack it. Sometimes I clock out at work and I only have 9 hours until I need to be at that computer clocking back in. But I guess that's the curse of the restaurant.
If we all lived in the same place we could grow old together....
i always try to tell myself to just do what you want, and not worry about working at the stupid restaurant, or anywhere else. if there is something fun going on, get off, or you'll regret it. too bad money gets in the way. it will be nice when i can not dread going into a shitty job. but the more and more i think about it, the most important thing to maintaining your sanity is making sure you surround yourself with people that make you happy and who like to do what you like to do.
ReplyDeletei wish we could all be together!
love erin